Oct. 22/23rd 2013

Real life

Exactly a week from today we were planned to be sworn in as official Peace Corps Volunteers (we're currently trainees) but now PST has been elongated and we haven't been told when our official swearing in ceremony will be. My guess is that it has been pushed back to the beginning of December.

My body has learned a very interesting schedule which I'm trying to teach my body to stop. Every night between 3:30-4:30am I wake up and have to pee. Then at 5:30am I have to poop. It's become a habit but if my permanent site has an outdoor charpi/toilet, I'll have to start peeing in a bucket in my room. this is getting graphic so I'll stop.

I also continue to have absurd absurd dreams. I dream about people from home mixed with people I met in Nepal and the activity is always very wacky. 

Not much new has happened recently. Because of the upcoming Nepali elections we are sort of stuck in Sindupalchowk (our current district) and aren't free to travel unlike our previous plans had said. Lots of language class and not much else this week.

Love you all at home <3

Bora

PS- happy birthday Jacob Rivera! Look at that, another shout out.

Oct. 18th sukrawbaar

Respect is given when it is received.

Everything is everything,

What is meant to be will be.

After winter must come spring,

Change comes eventually.

Happy birthday to two of my favorite boys, Jacob Rivera and Derek Corpus! Happy 24th and 23rd birthday! Wish I could celebrate with you both and the Team.

Plus, shout out to my main squeezie HK Huynh. Kick butt in your med school interviews!  I have nothing but faith in you.

Chhaap birthday tomorrow. May the weather Gods be on our side as we hope to go on a hike to one of the temples in the morning before we hit the bazaars to celebrate Freeman's 26th birthday. 

We were supposed to visit our permanent sites this coming week as well as meet our Nepali counterpart, the person we will be working alongside with throughout the next two years, but lots of political and government "stuff" has caused the Peace Corps training and programming team to cancel our planned excursion. There is an upcoming election on the Nepali government side planned for November 19th. Because of this, along with other recent political affairs, lots of strikes and political rallies are planned throughout the country, causing government officials to be on lockdown as the elections get closer. Our counterparts are unavailable for travel to meet us in Nepalgunj, thus, trip canceled. On the American government side, the federal furlough and shutdown of the federal government caused Peace Corps to resort to emergency funds to keep volunteers abroad and staff members on duty.  It was crazy to find all this out so late in the game since I've been living in Chhaaptown eating buffalo and being extremely disconnected with the world. What the heck happened America?? But I hear an agreement has been made, whatever that means. 

Jivan yastai chha. Ke garne?

Love you all,

Bora

Oct. 16th, 2013

Gravity

Just came from a beautiful short stroll through the nearby pine forest with my girl Nekeia.  Today I feel a bit under the weather, getting a fever and a cold (but don't worry mom I'll be fine!).  Today I am beginning to compile one of the main reflections I've concluded over the course of PST/my Peace Corps experience thus far: He will provide.  It's interesting how its when I am striped of so many necessities/luxuries that I feel most provided for.  No matter how many times my mind begins to worry and formulate possible future disasters that may arise, the worries are forced to be diminished. I wish this post wasn't so abstract, but there are too many moments to describe to emphasize this point: that I mustn't worry, that I must put my worries aside and have faith in the course of my life, faith in God.  Every little thing that I begin to worry about has received an answer, and some answers take a lot longer than others.  There are still many areas of my life unknown and unanswered, but I'm beginning to fully learn and understand the truth in trusting my God and having faith in order to go forward into the unknown positively and full heartedly. He has provided and will continue to provide. 

And so, "I shall not worry".

With love,

Bora

Oct. 13th, aaitabaar

Another day in Chhaap

Singing acapella to "My girl" in front of everyone in the village and dancing to Jessie J's "Pricetag" and then "Gasolina". 

It was yet another one of those, "is this real life?" moments in Chhaap town. We made an awesome realization though when we were dancing to "Pricetag". As we were listening to the music, it truly was our real life that we were singing. We don't need no money, we just wanna make the world dance.

Earlier in the morning I watched my family kill a chicken for their worship ceremony in my grandpa's bedroom. It was one of those moments that reminds you of that fact that our lives are temporary. It was disturbing. The chicken was definitely screaming shrieks of torture and before you know it, my grandpa is squeezing its blood onto the puja. Then we ate the chicken for dinner.

At night, I drank lots of weird corn based alcohol which wasn't all that bad. Afterwards I played Nepali card games with my two daais (big brothers) and their wives. It was fun hanging with a group of nepalis who are all relatively my age (I usually hang out with kids or adults). They were acting like stupid college kids which was hilarious. My brothers tried to feed our dog roksi (homemade alcohol). Then one of them was seriously trying to pull Joey Tribiani magic card tricks. He would hold up a card but bend it so much that it was obvious he could see it too. I laughed very hard. 

Eating all this crazy mess of meat has been treating my tummy funny, as it rightly should.

Love you and miss you all! I wish you all could've witnessed some of what I saw today. There was lots to laugh at and make fun of :)

Keraa syau maywa bhuikatahar suntala angur aap.

Love, 

Bora

PS- happy 24th birthday Charles Asamaphand!! I tried to call you but you didn't answer.

Oct. 12th, saneebaar

Dashain; Nepali initiation day

Today was the eighth day of the festival Dashain, and I suppose it is when the parties start really happening. Today was our day of from training so I had all day to wander and be taken around, where I saw lots of coocoo things. The list is long, so I'll try to keep it brief but informational.

Woke up, drank tea and ate biscoots with the fam then was taught how to cut grass by my bahinis.

Followed my eldest bahini (she's 15) to take the grass to the buffaloes and goats (bakraa). Watched one of the buffaloes poop while another one peed next to it.

Watched my bahini climb a guava tree that hangs over a ledge to get me a guava. She was standing on a limb that was around 15-20feet high and was about 3 inches thick. I held my breath but realized its an American thing to be scared.

Stood directly under a giant spider hanging on its web, and realized I'm quickly shaking off the culture shock of spiders.

Watched the Nepali men of Chhaap cut up buffaloes on the village streets. Watched my grandpa and some other dude squeeze out the poop from the intestines. This guy knew enough English to say, "diarrhea". 

Ate a common Nepali snack that's served off of old classroom scratch paper with cut up pieces of a microwave box as the spoon. Then like true Nepalis, littered it on the floor when we were done.

Played ping, which is a giant rope swing. While we were playing, a wild buffalo was running on the trail and got freaked out by the swinging of the ping and made a dash at the crowd of spectators. Lucky for us one of the boys ran at it and scared it off in a different direction.

Watched a woman smoke a stog while carrying a doko full of grass off her forehead. Just thought that was ironic.

Ate lots of weird puja (worship) food, but the best was smushed rice with banana. Yum.

Everything was pretty fun and super interesting, but I was also continuously tired because we kept drinking throughout the day. sleepy bora was alive today.

Happy Dashain! The celebration continues for the next few days.

Na jaane,

Bora

Oct. 11th sukrawbaar

Santa Cruz

This post has nothing to do with Nepal, but I just called Antonio (my little brother) right now and found out he's in the hospital awaiting surgery! Ahhhh! He was skateboarding and dislocated his right leg which they popped back into place, but has a fracture on his hipsocket that will need surgery. 

Good luck through surgery and be safe! I love you lil brother!

If anyone has his number shoot him a call or visit him in the hospital for me.

-Bora

October 8th, 2013 mangalbaar

The night I fell in love with Nepal

Today was a very long day and I could spend a long time talking about the series of events, but I'd rather describe in detail about how I fell in love with Nepal.

The past couple of nights my bahinis (my four little sisters) have been coming home super late. I found out it was because they have been at dance practice from about 6-9pm to prepare for a performance on one of the days of Dashain (sort of like Nepali Christmas). Tonight the five trainees (including me) of Chhaap decided to check out what all the fuss was about.

When we first showed up we messed around with the kids that were there. We had wheel barrel races and I gave out a bunch of American names to the kids haha. They loved it but kept forgetting what their names were (except for John, he got his down). Later I was sitting on the floor with a bunch of kids on/around me. They were playing a game that looked like it could be called, "slap that kid", and I joined in. I started slapping kids around and we all had a good laugh. They were all such good sports.

The party really kicked off with us Americans as the opening act. Our homie Kumar Bhaai had a little set up with a laptop and played Gasolina for us. Sudeep, Dikshya, and I were showing off our more modest dances moves and the crowd loved it. I was loving it too. It was seriously HELLA fun (I miss saying hella) and we even started an, "Aye! Aye! Aye!" chant with the crowd. When we were done messing around the mahila manche aka women of Chhaap dropped it like it was hot. If I knew Nepalis got down like that I would've jumped into the dancing scene way earlier. My bahinis were all a part of a dance as well, separated into their respective age groups.  Plug to KP, it was like PCC practice all over again! The rehearsal went til about 9:05pm and then the electricity in the village went out, as it does on a somewhat regular basis.  Everyone left to go home and I walked home in the dark with my little sisters and my Didi. 

I really can't describe the experience into words. It was one of those nights that you "just had to be there".  And I wish you all could've been there.

These young, fun, awesome villagers of Nepal showed me a great time. And so that is how tonight I fell in love with Nepal.

Nepaali nachna sikkaidinus na.

Love,

Bora

Oct. 7th, sombaar

We made a gobarman today (a snowman made out of cow poop). Hands down the best thing that's happened to me in Nepal. I didn't actually make it since I was inside building the cook stove (our actually project) while my friends were outside making the mud-cowpoo mixture/ creating gobarman. It even had a topi and seriously the perfect nose. Hhahahahaha life is good.

I still continue to have crazy dreams and am still bewildered when I wake up in Nepal. It's like waking up from a dream into what feels like another dream. Where am I?!?

For dinner tonight I ate some funky buffalo parts. I asked my didi if it was tarkari (vegetables), and she said, "yes, buffalo tarkari", in Nepali.

....Woman what are you feeding me. But I ate it, and it wasn't bad.

I've been eating the wierdest things.

Life.

-Bora

PS- I wish you could've seen gobarman. He was awesome. I'm hoping next time I can start a gobar fight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

Oct. 6th, 2013 aaitabaar

What a day

All in all, today was pretty awesome. My day started off with buffalo blood for breakfast. It's a standard dish here in Nepal, and it's congealed to be a substance like tofu, curried and cooked. When I saw it on my plate I almost backed out on eating it since I knew what it was. But today I felt the, "embrace Nepal" motivation in me and I ate it all. It wasn't bad, rather, it was pretty good (besides the fact it was blood). But if I didn't eat it, I would've missed out on some good new nutrients, especially since I've been eating crackers for lunch. Now when I get back home I might be able to tackle that pork blood (#hienkhanh #ninavu #kimquach #SJviethomies)!

In technical training, we learned how to create nursery beds (for seeds, not babies). That was pretty enjoyable, but I dove into mashing my hands all up in the compost, aka gobr aka cow poop, before I tied my hair up which was a big mistake. It was alright though, and we successfully planted a bed of tomato seeds, and poly bags with kaakruu (cucumber), karela (bitter gourd), and sponge gourd (I forgot the nepali name) seeds. 

We ended the work day with a final language class and after a thirty minute break, the Chhaap trainees all met up to get tea at the local tea shop along with two Peace Corps volunteers who lived in Chhaap last year. The whole village seemed to be out which was a blast as we  watched all the villagers excited to see the two volunteers again after a year's time. We chatted for a bit at the tea shop, then were invited to a neighbor's home where they were holding a party for their grandmother who passed away 12 days earlier (it's a cultural thing). We were all told to sit on the ground on the roof of their home and were fed by all the ladies of the house/neighbors. It was my first Nepali house party, which was surreal and awesome at the same time. I was also the butt of a joke by one of the uncles because I eat so slow. I guess some things never change. :)

I walked home afterwards with my didi (older sister) and was fed a second meal of buffalo meat and rice. 

All in all, today was a good day.

Shuva raati,

Bora

PS- my hair is getting long again!

Oct. 5th, 2013 saneebaar

Sea Salt

It's officially been one month since Staging in SF when the journey began.  It feels like just yesterday and a million years ago at the same time. I would say time flies, but at the same time it feels like it's in slow motion. 

There's something bouncing around on the floor of my room. But I've already turned the lights off and am in bed so I don't really want to get up and see what it is..... Anywho I digress.

Goodness this creature is loud...

Anyways moving on.

So mold has become my new home. My old cell phone molded, my door, my photo frame again, my shirt, and my makeup bag. Ladies at home, next time you think you're makeup bag is dirty, maybe think of me and say, "well at least it's not moldy".  :)  Seriously though, that bag was covered in mold. It was also due to the fact I threw it in the corner of my room and haven't looked at it since because wearing makeup isn't really a big part of my daily life anymore (it's really not a part of my life at all; I don't know why I brought it).

However, I have heard that throwing vinegar on everything will help prevent the mold, as well as keeping charcoal in my room. Potential solutions! :)

For my crazy raging Friday night last night I stayed in my room and began a little art project. I was listening to my music and writing down some of my favorite lyrics as well as adding some doodles to some scratch paper and then taping it up to one of my walls. It was pretty uplifting and made my music listening experience that much more fabulous.

Today I learned about poo covered mosquitoes and spiders. Hahahaha just saying that makes me laugh. But they are a real thing out here, or so I've been told. During monsoon season, mosquitoes will hang out in the still water/feces inside the charpi (squat toilet hole) and so when you go and begin your business, you may find a nice surprise flying out. Giant spiders like to hang out in there too I guess. Hahahahahhaha oh man that's so bad it's funny.

It's been raining a ton out here the past week which has been causing all sorts of weirdo problems, but to be honest, things have been on an upswing.  The big announcement of our permanent site placement will be on October 10th, this coming Thursday. I'm very excited/nervous to finally know where I'll be placed for the next two years. I'll be sure to let you all know, even though you'll probably have no idea what I'm talking about. Funny thing is that the next time I get Internet will be on the same day so you'll all know as soon as I do lol.

WTF this thing in my room sounds like its eating. Ugh I don't want to look.

Last note, I would have to say that one of the hardest, if not the hardest, adjustments I've had to make by moving to Nepal is not looking back.  Like the song goes, "I left my heart in San Francisco". And for many nights I struggled, and still struggle, with not looking back. With not thinking about what life would be like if I stayed in California. Because so much of who I am, and how I've been raised, lies within those borders. I have so much love for the cities I grew excessively fond of, the beautiful coast I lived on, and the friends, family, and loved ones I've left behind. 

But I realized, I've been stunting my own growth by constantly thinking of what could've been rather than what is. I'm here in Nepal now, and in front of me lies this unique, amazing, life changing opportunity to grow, integrate, learn, and understand a whole different side of the world.  I've loved every chapter of my life thus far, all the good and hard times, and I want to now allow this new chapter of my life to break me and mold me into whoever it is I am to become.

Here we go.

No looking back.

Love you and miss you all. 

Namaste,

Bora

Tapaaiko topi ekdam rangichangi chha!

Care package list

Update! So I heard some people talking about sending goodies (oh boy oh oh oh boy oh boy)! However, I know the base rate to send a package to Nepal is pretty pricey, so here is what I'm thinking. I've ordered some items I need off amazon and am having it sent to my home in San Jose where my mama will be sending it from there. I have a list of things that I would totally loveeee, but I also don't want too much stuff (because I'll have to lug it around) so if anyone was interested in sending some goodies, here's a list of things I've been craving! I've already forewarned my mom, so anyone can bring it or send it to my moms house and she' ll wrap it all up in one package from there! Sounds good?

Here's the list:

Trail mix (one large container preferred but really doesn't matter)

Pop tarts

Dried fruit

Protein bars!

Granola bars

Beef jerky

Dark chocolate

Calcium tablets

Multivitamins

Face lotion Olay

Toothpaste (with fluoride, which most US companies do)

Thin rain poncho!! ( will prob ask my mama to buy one)

Let me know if you'd like to be in on this list and ill let my mommy know! We will try to have it sent by mid-late October.

Love you all and miss you all so derri much.

It's gonna be a good ride

I have a lot to say.

Oct. 2nd, 2013 budhabaar/Wednesday

The Peace Corps volunteer experience has often been described to be like a roller coaster, and today was definitely a prime example of what's to come. 

The day started off rough. I think I simply woke up on one of those off day moods. I was tired, hungry, and terribly, terribly homesick. For the third time in a row I woke up early to exercise, but to my dismay the weather was muggy and rainy, thus spoiling another opportunity to get some exercise in while also spoiling an extra hour I could've been sleeping. In language class I was feeling very stressed. I could feel myself going beyond my saturation point, where none of the new grammar or vocabulary was sticking with me. We were thrown into a sink or swim type of training program, and I was beginning to feel like I was getting trampled and left behind. I was very vulnerable in language class. So vulnerable, if I were to be asked what's wrong, I would break down. I was showing some real vulnerability, unable to hold back my tears any longer. 

I called my brother and was able to talk to him for about ten minutes. It was uplifting to talk to someone who understands me and that I could trust the opinion of. His advice was very helpful.

The day went on and I was on and off lost in thought. During culture class, where we were learning about the caste system in Nepal, I took a little break and rather than intently paying attention, I let my brain take some rest. It was very gradual, but I began to feel my spirit pick back up again. There were key moments during the day that sped up the process. After our cultural class and a second grammar session, we were back in our village where we had to help collect a bucket of cow poop and a large sack of brown leaves for our technical training on composting coming up this Friday. When I heard cow poop, I got real nervous. And sure enough, it was the real deal: full hand grabs of cow poop were needed to get it in the bucket (I guess my prayer for a shovel was too much to ask). However, I didn't end up partaking in the event as I only had to bare witness. Anita, one of the staff members for PST (pre-service training), took charge and was grappling cow poop like it was gold. One of our own PCTs helped out while the rest of us sort of watched. My admiration for her climbed mountains as I watched her. It was awesome to see someone so poised and official get down to work in the fields. 

After we finished gathering cow poop and the brown leaves, the five trainees of Chhaap were invited to have tea at our friend Bimal's house. The tea was delicious and it was a great time conversing with the family. Their house is pretty darn cute. I realized my spirits had turned 180 degrees from how I felt during our initial language class today until that moment leaving Bimal's home.  The tea and biscuits definitely helped (I was starving).  

I feel like I'm rambling, but all in all, as I lie in my dampish bed, I am reminded of what it is that I seek and what it is I hope to accomplish. With every chapter of my life, I've grown with the people around me and have learn a lot about who I am, who it is I want to be, and the complexities and simplicities of life. 

And so, a list of things I seek:

To find peace and joy during hard times.

To have faith in the course of my life.

To give up control over the uncontrollable.

To be happy with myself regardless of inadequacies.

To surrender resentment towards people from whom I feel judgment.

To surrender judgment of others.

To have a greater number of days where I am a positive force in the world over the number of negative days.

To allow myself to be whoever it is that I am.

To work hard, with a smile and without excuses.

To believe in good intentions.

To harbor a place within myself where I can find safety, freedom, and peace.