12/30/13 Monday/ Sombaar

Radha's on the dance floor, Radha likes to party, Radha likes to move that sexy Radha body.

Yeah, it's going to suck, it's going to hurt, so don't think about it and just do it. Because the regret of not jumping in, that's what will really suck, and may hurt a lifetime.

I'm getting very good at daydreaming. As I sat around a program filled with such great Nepali vocabulary I didn't understand (and have realized, I probably never will), I daydreamed about lots of various, pleasant things for hours. Justai, the cool flashmob I plan on having on my wedding day, and all the delicious food spots in San Diego: TJ oyster bar, Tacos el Gordo, that one bakery in Chula Vista with the fruit cake thing... I forgot the name ahh! (#kevin#jonina), and that sandwich shop in Del Mar which I forgot the name as well (Bear, Trish, please remind me).

I'm finding that the American Standard for work ethic, praising characteristics such as taking initiative and being efficient, makes it crazy difficult for me to sustainably thrive out here. If and when I pose such standards on myself, I feel like a big loser everyday, and anything I attempt to do, I fail at, with great, uncomfortable awkwardness. What kills me is most of the time I feel a sense of expectation from the Peace Corps without any real empowerment. As if I should be able to be accomplishing certain things, but personally, alone, with fading language skills, I feel very inadequate.

And to be honest, I'm unable to accomplish anything because my room is toooooooo cold.

Looking for sustainable behavior change within myself.

Trying to understand how to maneuver around unrealistic expectations set by others.

There is a GIANT ant in my room.

Trying to keep my sense of humor, and sane self-judgment.

On that “I will survive” grind.

I hope you all are surviving, better yet, THRIVING out there where ever you are!

Love love love,

Bora

PS- Thought some of you back home would find this interesting. Today I went to the river where I bathed (awesome, and freezing), did my laundry, peed (don't worry, I showered upstream from that point), and hung my laundry on the barbed wire behind my house to dry. La!

12/23/13 mondee, sombaar.

Christmas

All I want for Christmas.... Is a California burrito.

Other things that sound nice: 

Hot cocoa, peppermint tea, coffee/lattes, marshmallows, chimney fire (even though I never had this when living in the US haha), heaters, jillimilli Christmas lights, movies, snow (with proper clothing on), snowboarding, wine, eggnog (I know, I like it), cheese, driving(!!!!), and the Holiday Yule Log on channel 36 (anyone know what I'm talking about??).

I remember almost about a year ago, I was in San Diego visiting after moving back to the Bay Area, drinking bottomless mimosas for brunch in Hillcrest with some of my silly friends. 

That was a very fun day in the life of Bora. 

#trish#jonnyhu#bear#rjay#kevinllorente#philly#jacob

#amiahorriblefriendcuzicantrememberwhowasallthere?

I've somehow gotten my Nepali pariwaar (family) to start calling me Bora. I'm pretty excited. I hope it keeps up. Call me Sack please!!

Merry Christmas my beloved-haru!! 

Funny Christmas story from my past: when I was a kid I would make handmade Christmas cards and write Merry Christmas in big letters on the cover page. However, I got so used to writing my own name that on many of the cards I would zone out while spelling Christmas, and after reviewing it, I would realize I wrote "Merry Christine". 

Lolz. Merry Christine everyone!

With joy from Nepal and a wee bit of yearning to be home for the holidays, 

Bora

12/18/13 Wednesday/ Budhabaar

And after a mini-breakdown, I gotta say, today was a good day.

Truly though, today has been a unique one and a good one. Was burnt out from feeling like a mute and being misunderstood 24/7, so as I was preparing for my day, my motivation was being shaken. However, after I stepped out of the house things quickly picked up. I decided to go into the nearby bazaar area today to buy some necessities for my room. Ran into a nice lady who works for an organization targeting a marginalized community in Nepali society. It was nice meeting her co-workers, as well as grabbing tea with the locals who live near her office. I bought my goods, played soccer with the neighboring boys, gave them some nasthaa (snacks) that my aama had prepared for me, took a shower, ate, and now I'm here.

I started this post thinking I had a lot to say, but obviously this is one joke of a post.

Feliz Navidad meraa amor-haru.

tri-lingual waaassup.

PS- this frickin mouse pooped all around my bed and on my clothes and on my towel and now has just ran past me. 

Support mouse-based research.

Crude? Maybe. But if you only knew how it feels to have the towel you wipe your face with smell like mouse poop (which maybe you all do but have never expressed these woes to me).

December 14^th, 2013

Saturday – SaNeeBaar

“This is real, so take a chance and don't ever look back.”

I'm all moved in to my permanent site in the district of Dang, one which borders India, in a village known as Manpur.

I have many pets here. I have two cute little snails that came out from the pipe I was taking a bucket bath from, a pet mouse that runs around on the tarp that is my ceiling, another pet mouse on the floor in my room, and a lost little gecko/lizard.

*Cool side note: the mouse (mice?) in my room like to crawl into bed with me at night, as well as leave tons of poop lying around on my bed under my comforter and on my bench that is my shelf-like structure. Not only does this mouse poop while in bed with me, it poops on me too as I found mouse poop stuck on the bottom sleeve of my pajama sweatpants. Wasssuppp.

Other than my new pets, in my new and permanent family setting, I have a baabaa (dad), aama (mom), duwejanaa bhaaujuharu (two sister-in-laws), duwejanaa naniharu (two baby girls: one 16 months and one 9 months old), ra daai (older brother). As it should naturally feel, I was extremely nervous to get to know them. The instinctual questions arose: Can I trust them? Will I get along with them? Do they know what they've gotten themselves into?

But as I slowly get to know them more and more, I'm very pleased to be living with them. My aama has proven so far to be fun, hardworking, and always looking out for me. My bhaaujuharu are both my same exact age, which I sorta love because I can relate to them and see myself as a Nepali through their eyes. The naniharu have also proven to be a blessing. Blessing me with the experience of handling young, new, innocent human beings as well as being “aati” entertaining and bringing subtle joy into the home every day.

I like my new village, and it seems most all the other Peace Corps Volunteers in my group are satisfied with their placements. My village is very flat, rather than the hilly region of Nepal I've been living in the last three months, and although I've never been to India, I have a feeling it looks and feels very similar to our neighboring country.

I'm looking forward to the various plans set for the upcoming months/year, as well as the potential work I can take a part here in Manpur.

I'm learning more and more about myself, who I am and who I'm not, everyday. For that I give many thanks.

Always carrying you loved ones in my heart everywhere I go,

La la la,

Bora