On May 10th, 2015, I arrived home in
California. Peace Corps volunteers and
trainees have been temporarily evacuated from Nepal due to the great seismic
activity that destroyed many homes and took many lives, and continues to shake the
Himalayan country today. Please continue
to pray for those who still mourn the loss of their friends and family members,
as well as all the families still without shelter.
Since being home, I’ve been chanting to myself to take life “one
day at a time”. How important a simple
phrase has been in guiding me throughout this crazy journey we call life (jivan).
Every single day has been different.
Every new or repeated thought in my head takes me down a different road
of feeling.
This past weekend I made a loop of the Bay Area. This area, so familiar yet still so
mysterious to me, is full of culture, inspiration and excitement. This is an area I’ve identified with all my
life. It’s where I was born and raised
and refer to as home. This is why I find
it so incredible that a mere 20 months living in Nepal has changed so sharply
my perspective of “home”. There has and
still is a part of my heart that longs for a life lived in this area. There is so much left here for me to
discover, explore, EAT, and strive for.
Yet, when I walked into my physical house after a (more than)
relaxing weekend, I felt a pang in the other side of my heart—a side that didn’t
exist until the past few years. My best
friend in Nepal will turn three years old in a month, and today I crave her
company. I miss being her auntie, as
well as the few but very strong relationships I built with some incredible
people in Nepal.
And still yet, although I know I will most likely be able to
return to Nepal on June 20th, I’m anxious, which I hope others can
understand. I mean, unfortunately I’m
not very thrilled to get dropped off into a life of cold baths, crammed buses,
and moldy sheets all over again. I’m anxious that once I
begin to gain a sense of acclimation to California, I will find myself needing
to readjust back to a much more devastated world.
I’m learning, I’m challenged, and I own a greater
understanding of gratitude. I’m honored
and thankful. Here I am—a part of my
heart here, a part of my heart there—a little stuck in the middle of somewhere. One day at a time.
