I want to come across as "articulate enough" and not "sound like a dodo head". But on the real, I have some real life attention problems and small obsessive habits that stumble me often (as well as an extremely temperamental short-term memory). But... that's besides the point. That's my warning to you, reader, as I finally get some thoughts across today.
Returning home has been a blessing in many ways. I was able to witness the Golden State Warriors rise to a NBA championship title for the first time since 1975 (we been waiting for this!), I ate free and delicious homemade Korean food almost everyday, and (TMI, but...) I had the most solid poop I've ever had in a long while.
Concerning the Warriors, I was elated to find out that no matter how long the finals series went, I would be home for game 7 if needed. Then I was even more thrilled to watch the game 6 victory and know that the celebratory parade in Oakland will be held on my last day in the United States before I leave to Nepal.
I woke up this Friday morning early, before my alarm went off at 7am, feeling energized and well-rested. I was all ready to go out and celebrate with all of the Bay Area, yet despite this, I've made the decision to stay home today.
I woke up this morning with a change in spirit, and a very realistic sense of grace and thanksgiving. I woke up realizing that I've spent the last five weeks at home in more turmoil with my family than I ever felt before. And it's unfair to them. When I landed in America on May 10th, my brother was there to pick me up from the airport. My mother prepared for me a bed to sleep in, cleaned the home, and continuously cooked food throughout my stay. I woke up realizing that today may be the last moments I share with my mother and brother, and that they have been the few, if not the only, constants in my life during this time of great uncertainty.
I've had my moments of joy, celebration and laughter while I've been home, however I remember all the moments of frustration, anger, and pain just as well. In my times of pain, I know I had the ability to cause pain in others, especially to those who are close to me, such as my mother and brother. Yet, no matter how much turmoil I/we created for each other, they never once doubted themselves in their sacrifices and care of me. This is why today, I decided there is no place I'd rather be (not even the Warriors victory parade) than getting brunch with my mother, dinner with my brother, and spending some last moments of quiet and rest in the home that provided me shelter from the heat, rain, and especially the cold.
As I sit here, a heavy reflection washed over me reminding me tomorrow is never promised. We are undeserving of such a promise. Tomorrow may never come, so why wait to do tomorrow what we have the opportunity to do today?
So, what have I learned? Love God, be loving to each other (that means giving and receiving love), and always try to be only yourself (once you have a good idea of who that may be). Prioritize your values so that you can prioritize the goals you want to accomplish and the time you spend in your efforts to achieve that goal. Find humility in your sacrifices. You don't have to be perfect; being good enough will do. And America/California, walk around once in a while, and enjoy it!
One love,
Bora
I've had my moments of joy, celebration and laughter while I've been home, however I remember all the moments of frustration, anger, and pain just as well. In my times of pain, I know I had the ability to cause pain in others, especially to those who are close to me, such as my mother and brother. Yet, no matter how much turmoil I/we created for each other, they never once doubted themselves in their sacrifices and care of me. This is why today, I decided there is no place I'd rather be (not even the Warriors victory parade) than getting brunch with my mother, dinner with my brother, and spending some last moments of quiet and rest in the home that provided me shelter from the heat, rain, and especially the cold.
As I sit here, a heavy reflection washed over me reminding me tomorrow is never promised. We are undeserving of such a promise. Tomorrow may never come, so why wait to do tomorrow what we have the opportunity to do today?
So, what have I learned? Love God, be loving to each other (that means giving and receiving love), and always try to be only yourself (once you have a good idea of who that may be). Prioritize your values so that you can prioritize the goals you want to accomplish and the time you spend in your efforts to achieve that goal. Find humility in your sacrifices. You don't have to be perfect; being good enough will do. And America/California, walk around once in a while, and enjoy it!
One love,
Bora
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