12/30/13 Monday/ Sombaar

Radha's on the dance floor, Radha likes to party, Radha likes to move that sexy Radha body.

Yeah, it's going to suck, it's going to hurt, so don't think about it and just do it. Because the regret of not jumping in, that's what will really suck, and may hurt a lifetime.

I'm getting very good at daydreaming. As I sat around a program filled with such great Nepali vocabulary I didn't understand (and have realized, I probably never will), I daydreamed about lots of various, pleasant things for hours. Justai, the cool flashmob I plan on having on my wedding day, and all the delicious food spots in San Diego: TJ oyster bar, Tacos el Gordo, that one bakery in Chula Vista with the fruit cake thing... I forgot the name ahh! (#kevin#jonina), and that sandwich shop in Del Mar which I forgot the name as well (Bear, Trish, please remind me).

I'm finding that the American Standard for work ethic, praising characteristics such as taking initiative and being efficient, makes it crazy difficult for me to sustainably thrive out here. If and when I pose such standards on myself, I feel like a big loser everyday, and anything I attempt to do, I fail at, with great, uncomfortable awkwardness. What kills me is most of the time I feel a sense of expectation from the Peace Corps without any real empowerment. As if I should be able to be accomplishing certain things, but personally, alone, with fading language skills, I feel very inadequate.

And to be honest, I'm unable to accomplish anything because my room is toooooooo cold.

Looking for sustainable behavior change within myself.

Trying to understand how to maneuver around unrealistic expectations set by others.

There is a GIANT ant in my room.

Trying to keep my sense of humor, and sane self-judgment.

On that “I will survive” grind.

I hope you all are surviving, better yet, THRIVING out there where ever you are!

Love love love,

Bora

PS- Thought some of you back home would find this interesting. Today I went to the river where I bathed (awesome, and freezing), did my laundry, peed (don't worry, I showered upstream from that point), and hung my laundry on the barbed wire behind my house to dry. La!

12/23/13 mondee, sombaar.

Christmas

All I want for Christmas.... Is a California burrito.

Other things that sound nice: 

Hot cocoa, peppermint tea, coffee/lattes, marshmallows, chimney fire (even though I never had this when living in the US haha), heaters, jillimilli Christmas lights, movies, snow (with proper clothing on), snowboarding, wine, eggnog (I know, I like it), cheese, driving(!!!!), and the Holiday Yule Log on channel 36 (anyone know what I'm talking about??).

I remember almost about a year ago, I was in San Diego visiting after moving back to the Bay Area, drinking bottomless mimosas for brunch in Hillcrest with some of my silly friends. 

That was a very fun day in the life of Bora. 

#trish#jonnyhu#bear#rjay#kevinllorente#philly#jacob

#amiahorriblefriendcuzicantrememberwhowasallthere?

I've somehow gotten my Nepali pariwaar (family) to start calling me Bora. I'm pretty excited. I hope it keeps up. Call me Sack please!!

Merry Christmas my beloved-haru!! 

Funny Christmas story from my past: when I was a kid I would make handmade Christmas cards and write Merry Christmas in big letters on the cover page. However, I got so used to writing my own name that on many of the cards I would zone out while spelling Christmas, and after reviewing it, I would realize I wrote "Merry Christine". 

Lolz. Merry Christine everyone!

With joy from Nepal and a wee bit of yearning to be home for the holidays, 

Bora

12/18/13 Wednesday/ Budhabaar

And after a mini-breakdown, I gotta say, today was a good day.

Truly though, today has been a unique one and a good one. Was burnt out from feeling like a mute and being misunderstood 24/7, so as I was preparing for my day, my motivation was being shaken. However, after I stepped out of the house things quickly picked up. I decided to go into the nearby bazaar area today to buy some necessities for my room. Ran into a nice lady who works for an organization targeting a marginalized community in Nepali society. It was nice meeting her co-workers, as well as grabbing tea with the locals who live near her office. I bought my goods, played soccer with the neighboring boys, gave them some nasthaa (snacks) that my aama had prepared for me, took a shower, ate, and now I'm here.

I started this post thinking I had a lot to say, but obviously this is one joke of a post.

Feliz Navidad meraa amor-haru.

tri-lingual waaassup.

PS- this frickin mouse pooped all around my bed and on my clothes and on my towel and now has just ran past me. 

Support mouse-based research.

Crude? Maybe. But if you only knew how it feels to have the towel you wipe your face with smell like mouse poop (which maybe you all do but have never expressed these woes to me).

December 14^th, 2013

Saturday – SaNeeBaar

“This is real, so take a chance and don't ever look back.”

I'm all moved in to my permanent site in the district of Dang, one which borders India, in a village known as Manpur.

I have many pets here. I have two cute little snails that came out from the pipe I was taking a bucket bath from, a pet mouse that runs around on the tarp that is my ceiling, another pet mouse on the floor in my room, and a lost little gecko/lizard.

*Cool side note: the mouse (mice?) in my room like to crawl into bed with me at night, as well as leave tons of poop lying around on my bed under my comforter and on my bench that is my shelf-like structure. Not only does this mouse poop while in bed with me, it poops on me too as I found mouse poop stuck on the bottom sleeve of my pajama sweatpants. Wasssuppp.

Other than my new pets, in my new and permanent family setting, I have a baabaa (dad), aama (mom), duwejanaa bhaaujuharu (two sister-in-laws), duwejanaa naniharu (two baby girls: one 16 months and one 9 months old), ra daai (older brother). As it should naturally feel, I was extremely nervous to get to know them. The instinctual questions arose: Can I trust them? Will I get along with them? Do they know what they've gotten themselves into?

But as I slowly get to know them more and more, I'm very pleased to be living with them. My aama has proven so far to be fun, hardworking, and always looking out for me. My bhaaujuharu are both my same exact age, which I sorta love because I can relate to them and see myself as a Nepali through their eyes. The naniharu have also proven to be a blessing. Blessing me with the experience of handling young, new, innocent human beings as well as being “aati” entertaining and bringing subtle joy into the home every day.

I like my new village, and it seems most all the other Peace Corps Volunteers in my group are satisfied with their placements. My village is very flat, rather than the hilly region of Nepal I've been living in the last three months, and although I've never been to India, I have a feeling it looks and feels very similar to our neighboring country.

I'm looking forward to the various plans set for the upcoming months/year, as well as the potential work I can take a part here in Manpur.

I'm learning more and more about myself, who I am and who I'm not, everyday. For that I give many thanks.

Always carrying you loved ones in my heart everywhere I go,

La la la,

Bora

11/23/13 saneebaar

I speak Nepali. 

Holy balls I speak Nepali!!

Language proficiency interview is over. Everyone passed. PST is over. Language classes are over. Leaving for our resort for swearing in tomorrow morning. Gotta find cute shoes to wear. Gotta build an improved cook stove today in one of our friend's houses.

FREEDOM!!!!!!!!  Kavre Jilla here we come, and we are ready... For FREEDOM! At least a little taste of it. Please.

Additionally, just had a flash back to The Oasis. I'm pretty sure no one who took part of the Oasis will read this, except for maybe Jody haha, but those were awesome times. So, here's a shout out to those chill, high school nights and my boys I'm reminded of: Jason P, Brian N, and Bob S!

On a more dica laageko note,

The world would be a better place if women were thought of as capable right off the bat rather than having to continuously be proving their self capacity. And truly, the perpetrators are not singular people, but a looming, abstract, and undefined ideal that cages the ability for people to think with actual open minds. 

Pour one shot out for the light overlooked.

Love,

Bora

PS- Miss you and Thank you omma. Got your package yesterday.

11/22/13 Friday Friday gotta get down on Friday

Time continues to trudge along but fly by at the same time. How?

The other night while I sat down to eat dinner with my family, across from me was my sister's plate. We both watched a worm/centipede type bug crawl out of her saag (spinach like stuff) across her plate. She picks it off and continues eating. Then I keep eating my saag too. Hoping for the best! 

Yesterday I sat down at a pasal where the girls working there feed me a junaar (basically an orange). After she cut it up, I ate a few pieces then noticed a similar worm/centipede thing crawling out of one of the pieces. I put that piece off to the side, but I think I forgot and ate it later. Again... Hoping for the best!

Today is my Language Proficiency Interview. Lets get this baby over with. I'm tired of talking about my pariwaar and my mukya.. something something I already forget fml. Haami garna sakchha holaa! 

Additionally, Best wishes for their speedy recovery and sending my condolences to the Philippines, my pseudo motherland. 

Happy 26th birthday Jewels! You don't have Internet so you won't see this but hopefully we can celebrate somehow even though we're probably not allowed in Chautara still. 

-da sack

11/20/13 budha frickin baar mang

Gettin' in the way of what I'm feeling

So I've thought of this funny story I'd like to share.

Imagine, your at home having dinner with your family, lets say you have about 5-6 people altogether. Everyone's sat down and eating and talking. You're all talking about what you did that day, the latest happenings in the news, sports, politics, what you had for lunch, etc etc. Conversation is flowing, there's laughter here and there, but in the middle of the conversation some dodo at the table interrupts and says, "Food is tasty!". 

Well I'm that dodo. My new life...

The other day I was sitting in front of a pasal (shop) with two Nepali boys that I like. The younger one kept asking me to sing an American song for him. I told him to sing, which he did, so then I felt obligated to fulfill his prior request. I sang, "Quickie" by Miguel. 

;)

He thoroughly enjoyed it. So I sang it again, then one more time.

Bear, this next shout out is for you.

I don't know what it is out here that reminds me of Corebio, but I'm constantly reminded of our times driving around listening to Ke$ha, Katy Perry, and Rihanna on repeat on the radio, the 3:00pm traffic jam mix on 90.3/93.3 (I don't remember which one), being fatasses and eating all the free food we could get from vendors, then feeling bad about ourselves and switching to trader joes salads (and free samples). That job was the best and I miss it. I miss rich scientists, PIs, and researchers! And going to the beach after tag teaming a delivery, that was our life. Oh the good, comfortable life.

Someone tell Bear to read that cuz I feel he won't go out of his way to read my blog. Ha.

 

teehee,

Bora

11/19/13 mangalbaar

I will find my way; I can go the distance!

Said Hercules.

On the daily I complain about this prego dog, Popi, that I live with. But wastabma (actually), I like Popi. Popi doesn't like a lot of people, for some reason especially dudes, but Popi likes me. Today I was walking on the baato (road) and Popi was outside and followed me around. I walked down to the cheeya pasal (tea shop) down the road from my house and Popi followed. In front of the biscoot shop Popi got into a little brawl with a black street dog. Keep in mind Popi is much smaller than these street dogs and is currently carrying around 3-4 pups in her belly. She starts shrieking and the locals break up the fight. Popi comes to me where I'm sitting and dips her head under my legs. It was pretty adorable. I'm glad Popi doesn't act bipolar around me when I pet her. In reality, she probably likes me because I give her food every night since I never finish my mound of rice for dinner, but still, that loyalty and fondness feels nice.

Enough about stupid Popi...

If you asked me how I felt about the Nepalis in my current village, I would've given a very different answer than today. The past couple of days I've had to deal with a lot of encounters where I left feeling stupid, misunderstood, angry, or annoyed.  Today, however, I think I've made my first real Nepali friend. Like, for real! Wastabma (keep up homie) I don't know her name but I plan on going back to her house tomorrow to visit again. She's relatively my age, probably a bit younger since she's currently in college studying education (yup, I found all that out speaking Nepali suckaa!), and she's chill as ever. I hung out with her mom and grandma (both who are wild and made me dance with them in their kitchen) and her younger sister, who is also cool but just a little too hyphy and talks a lil too fast for me. But anyways... Yeah girl crush I suppose? Haha na just friendship, genuinely. 

If I find someone like her in my permanent village, I can definitely make it out here.

Lastly, Were down to 24 trainees. 

With love for my home, 

Bora

11/18/13 what day is it?

You gotta read this one.

Chilly season is here. I remember when I was living in San Jose during the winter season and I would never look forward to taking showers because for that split second when the water is turned off and you have to grab your towel, you're freezing cold. Well Bora, who would've known that one day,for two years, you'll be taking showers in the winter with water just as cold as the air outside. Suck on that San Jose!

That last part was inappropriate I apologize.

My amigos went into the bazaar area today and they were asked by a lady where I was (we had met her last week). I thought, "how thoughtful of her". That is until I found out she said something along the lines of, "where's your Chinese friend?".

I'm not Chinese dammit!!

And then... It's always funny that the follow up question after I explain I'm not Chinese is, "do you speak Chinese?"

No I don't speak Chinese... because I'm not Chinese!!!

We are currently in our last week of language class. Woohoo! Our poor LCF (aka teacher) looks exhausted. I think we've pooped her out. Our language interview/exam is this Friday. The next day is our day off and the following day we leave to Kavre District where we'll be swearing in as official Volunteers.

Then we head back to Chautara to do some more training.. oh the irony. Only for a week though, and then we really ship off into isolation.

Why yes I am very nervous.

Nepali elections are tomorrow.

By the time I have Internet again everything I've just written about will probably be over.

And last but not least, Happy birthday Trishy poo :) I love you mama and I hope your janma din was fookin awesome. 

With love and cold wet hair,

Bora <3

The sack.

Ps- I'm currently wearing:

My underarmor leggings: thank you Jonina!

My REI wool socks: thank you Bear and Rjay!

My North Face jacket: thank you Trish!

11/12/13 mangalbaar

Ain't nobody in the world but you and I.

I think I'm finally beginning to understand the meaning of humility.

Remember my dog who got raped by a street dog a couple of weeks ago? Well, she's preggers.

My sanbaa today told me I didn't know Nepali. Quite the discouragement after feeling like I've been slaving away trying to understand their language. 

Nov. 9th 2013

safe and sound

Somewhere between the illuminating stars in the sky and the unflushable poop sitting in the toilet, I exist. 

November 2, 2013

Saturday

I can't believe it's November. 

Yesterday we arrived back to our villages in Sindupalchowk from a 3 night, 4 day trip to the capital city, Kathmandu. There we got to finally see the Peace Corps Headquarters and do some shopping around the city. We ate lots of great food and got to see some of the life in a very different part of the country.  I ate pizza, cake, Mexican food, Nutella, boba, jambalaya, fancy mixed drinks, yeah it was pretty cool. I nearly died when crossing the street and failed to look the other direction. But I didn't die, so all is good. I did brush my arm against a moving motorcycle though. 

Now, back to the village to finish off the rest of Pre-service training. We will hopefully be swearing in as volunteers at the end of this month. Woo!

Oct. 22/23rd 2013

Real life

Exactly a week from today we were planned to be sworn in as official Peace Corps Volunteers (we're currently trainees) but now PST has been elongated and we haven't been told when our official swearing in ceremony will be. My guess is that it has been pushed back to the beginning of December.

My body has learned a very interesting schedule which I'm trying to teach my body to stop. Every night between 3:30-4:30am I wake up and have to pee. Then at 5:30am I have to poop. It's become a habit but if my permanent site has an outdoor charpi/toilet, I'll have to start peeing in a bucket in my room. this is getting graphic so I'll stop.

I also continue to have absurd absurd dreams. I dream about people from home mixed with people I met in Nepal and the activity is always very wacky. 

Not much new has happened recently. Because of the upcoming Nepali elections we are sort of stuck in Sindupalchowk (our current district) and aren't free to travel unlike our previous plans had said. Lots of language class and not much else this week.

Love you all at home <3

Bora

PS- happy birthday Jacob Rivera! Look at that, another shout out.

Oct. 18th sukrawbaar

Respect is given when it is received.

Everything is everything,

What is meant to be will be.

After winter must come spring,

Change comes eventually.

Happy birthday to two of my favorite boys, Jacob Rivera and Derek Corpus! Happy 24th and 23rd birthday! Wish I could celebrate with you both and the Team.

Plus, shout out to my main squeezie HK Huynh. Kick butt in your med school interviews!  I have nothing but faith in you.

Chhaap birthday tomorrow. May the weather Gods be on our side as we hope to go on a hike to one of the temples in the morning before we hit the bazaars to celebrate Freeman's 26th birthday. 

We were supposed to visit our permanent sites this coming week as well as meet our Nepali counterpart, the person we will be working alongside with throughout the next two years, but lots of political and government "stuff" has caused the Peace Corps training and programming team to cancel our planned excursion. There is an upcoming election on the Nepali government side planned for November 19th. Because of this, along with other recent political affairs, lots of strikes and political rallies are planned throughout the country, causing government officials to be on lockdown as the elections get closer. Our counterparts are unavailable for travel to meet us in Nepalgunj, thus, trip canceled. On the American government side, the federal furlough and shutdown of the federal government caused Peace Corps to resort to emergency funds to keep volunteers abroad and staff members on duty.  It was crazy to find all this out so late in the game since I've been living in Chhaaptown eating buffalo and being extremely disconnected with the world. What the heck happened America?? But I hear an agreement has been made, whatever that means. 

Jivan yastai chha. Ke garne?

Love you all,

Bora

Oct. 16th, 2013

Gravity

Just came from a beautiful short stroll through the nearby pine forest with my girl Nekeia.  Today I feel a bit under the weather, getting a fever and a cold (but don't worry mom I'll be fine!).  Today I am beginning to compile one of the main reflections I've concluded over the course of PST/my Peace Corps experience thus far: He will provide.  It's interesting how its when I am striped of so many necessities/luxuries that I feel most provided for.  No matter how many times my mind begins to worry and formulate possible future disasters that may arise, the worries are forced to be diminished. I wish this post wasn't so abstract, but there are too many moments to describe to emphasize this point: that I mustn't worry, that I must put my worries aside and have faith in the course of my life, faith in God.  Every little thing that I begin to worry about has received an answer, and some answers take a lot longer than others.  There are still many areas of my life unknown and unanswered, but I'm beginning to fully learn and understand the truth in trusting my God and having faith in order to go forward into the unknown positively and full heartedly. He has provided and will continue to provide. 

And so, "I shall not worry".

With love,

Bora

Oct. 13th, aaitabaar

Another day in Chhaap

Singing acapella to "My girl" in front of everyone in the village and dancing to Jessie J's "Pricetag" and then "Gasolina". 

It was yet another one of those, "is this real life?" moments in Chhaap town. We made an awesome realization though when we were dancing to "Pricetag". As we were listening to the music, it truly was our real life that we were singing. We don't need no money, we just wanna make the world dance.

Earlier in the morning I watched my family kill a chicken for their worship ceremony in my grandpa's bedroom. It was one of those moments that reminds you of that fact that our lives are temporary. It was disturbing. The chicken was definitely screaming shrieks of torture and before you know it, my grandpa is squeezing its blood onto the puja. Then we ate the chicken for dinner.

At night, I drank lots of weird corn based alcohol which wasn't all that bad. Afterwards I played Nepali card games with my two daais (big brothers) and their wives. It was fun hanging with a group of nepalis who are all relatively my age (I usually hang out with kids or adults). They were acting like stupid college kids which was hilarious. My brothers tried to feed our dog roksi (homemade alcohol). Then one of them was seriously trying to pull Joey Tribiani magic card tricks. He would hold up a card but bend it so much that it was obvious he could see it too. I laughed very hard. 

Eating all this crazy mess of meat has been treating my tummy funny, as it rightly should.

Love you and miss you all! I wish you all could've witnessed some of what I saw today. There was lots to laugh at and make fun of :)

Keraa syau maywa bhuikatahar suntala angur aap.

Love, 

Bora

PS- happy 24th birthday Charles Asamaphand!! I tried to call you but you didn't answer.

Oct. 12th, saneebaar

Dashain; Nepali initiation day

Today was the eighth day of the festival Dashain, and I suppose it is when the parties start really happening. Today was our day of from training so I had all day to wander and be taken around, where I saw lots of coocoo things. The list is long, so I'll try to keep it brief but informational.

Woke up, drank tea and ate biscoots with the fam then was taught how to cut grass by my bahinis.

Followed my eldest bahini (she's 15) to take the grass to the buffaloes and goats (bakraa). Watched one of the buffaloes poop while another one peed next to it.

Watched my bahini climb a guava tree that hangs over a ledge to get me a guava. She was standing on a limb that was around 15-20feet high and was about 3 inches thick. I held my breath but realized its an American thing to be scared.

Stood directly under a giant spider hanging on its web, and realized I'm quickly shaking off the culture shock of spiders.

Watched the Nepali men of Chhaap cut up buffaloes on the village streets. Watched my grandpa and some other dude squeeze out the poop from the intestines. This guy knew enough English to say, "diarrhea". 

Ate a common Nepali snack that's served off of old classroom scratch paper with cut up pieces of a microwave box as the spoon. Then like true Nepalis, littered it on the floor when we were done.

Played ping, which is a giant rope swing. While we were playing, a wild buffalo was running on the trail and got freaked out by the swinging of the ping and made a dash at the crowd of spectators. Lucky for us one of the boys ran at it and scared it off in a different direction.

Watched a woman smoke a stog while carrying a doko full of grass off her forehead. Just thought that was ironic.

Ate lots of weird puja (worship) food, but the best was smushed rice with banana. Yum.

Everything was pretty fun and super interesting, but I was also continuously tired because we kept drinking throughout the day. sleepy bora was alive today.

Happy Dashain! The celebration continues for the next few days.

Na jaane,

Bora